Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Amber Portwood Behind Bars Special

Amber Portwood Behind Bars: An MTV Special

This was a refreshing look at Amber. For the first time we see her sober and completely awake and real. She held her eyes open and smiled with real sincere answers for a change. Dr. Drew sits down with Amber and for a few minutes she has to adjust to the interview. She was very nervous which is one thing I haven't seen from her in any other interview. 

I wasn't aware of how many different sectors there are in prisons. I certainly never heard of there being a "Therapeutic Community" in prison either which is where Amber is now placed. In this community Amber is able to take a variety of classes to better herself. Not all are mandatory but Amber has chosen to do them anyway. She tells Dr. Drew that she has no idea that she would be in a rehab like prison.

Amber was sentenced to 5 years in prison because she chose to not continue with rehab. Many fans (and anti-fans) couldn't understand why Amber chose to go to prison so thankfully the interview sheds some light on it. Amber says that she told the judge "Please send me to prison." 

The burning question: "What made you say 'I'm not taking treatment. Send me to prison?'" 
Amber: "When I was in treatment, I wasn't getting anything out of it. I was still doing drugs, I started to move to harder drugs."

Amber talks about her abuse of Fentanyl patches. Which are gel patches that are meant to go on your body and the medicine absorbed through your skin. (basically a pain reliever from what I have read and some people abuse it by chewing on the patch.) Amber said that her drug use and depression got so bad that she didn't care about anything anymore. She said she would go to her drug tests and be chewing on a patch while screening. That is when she knew she really didn't care anymore. 

"I knew, I don't know how... but I knew I was going to die."

Dr. Drew asked her to explain how drug addiction gets so far that you don't care about anything, even your own child. Amber says: "It's not that you don't love your child. You're a very selfish person when you're an addict. All I wanted was to find drugs so I didn't have to withdraw. I didn't care who was in my way."

Amber reveals that her only visitor in prison is her mother. She has tried to get Gary to bring Leah but he hasn't yet. (In a new clip posted to the mtv website Gary does say that he plans to take Leah to see her very soon.) Another thing that I did not know about prisons is that they have playgrounds, where children can come to visit their incarcerated family members. I think this is good, when Leah does finally get to visit her mom she will be able to play and maybe not feel like she is in a completely negative environment. 

They have yet to tell Leah that Amber is in prison. Gary tells her that she is at work, or on vacation or even driving the twinkie truck to avoid it. Amber does talk to Leah everyday on the phone. 

Amber describes a typical day for her, she wakes up at 7:30am and has to be ready for her group meetings at 9am. 4 times a week she goes to Narcotics Anonymous as well as many other classes she is taking, including a parenting class and a GED class. She does work that includes cleaning bathrooms where she is paid less than a dollar an hour. She also studies every Saturday. She tells Dr. Drew that she has seen a change in herself. She talks about when she used to get spray tans and eyelashes to make herself feel good, and now she realizes how fake she was. 

Dr. Drew asks her what the little things are that she misses now. She tells him that she misses sleeping in, going to starbucks, driving and listening to music, shopping.. "I miss freedom, is what it is. I miss my family." 

She clears up some of the rumors she has been hearing about her while in prison. One was that someone put glass in her food. She said nothing like that has happened. Also that there is no "girlfriend" named sugar foot tattooing her name on their neck. So that's good. lol 

Amber says that the message she would give to Leah right now is that "I'll be home soon. And I'll actually be there for her this time. I'll the mom that she wants."

When released Amber plans on being a much better mother and helping other people that are in the situation she was in. Dr. Drew tells her that she made the right decision, that she probably wouldn't have gotten sober any other way and that it was a privilege to witness her story.